So you want a Zebra Finch?

How do you say 'no' to your son about getting a Zebra Finch when your wife is in defence of the idea?

Here's a few tips.

First, talk about your own childhood and explain how you desperately wanted a Zebra Finch, but your parents said 'No'.

Second, think of an animal your wife hates and bring that into the conversation.

"Hey, I used to own a Ferret."
Daughter (Online with kid brother checking out Zebra Finch): What's a Ferret?
Me: Google it.
Daughter:(a moment later - awestruck): Wow! These are really cute.
Me: Yeah... they are.
Wife: No. They're not. They smell and they bite. They kill babies.
Me: Who needs babies anyway. You train them not to bite and you buy a female, they don't stink so much.
Wife: You're not having a Ferret.
Daughter: Can we pleeeeeeeeease have a Ferret.
ME: You know, they can, like some birds, mimic human speech.
Daughter: REALLY?!
Wife: Hang on...
Me: Yeah... the one I used to have, we trained it to say"I LOVE YOU" and it would look at you with these really cute shiny eyes and say it in a tiny voice. It would make me tear up.
Wife: Until it bit you.
Son: Yeah but can I have a Zebra Finch?
ME: Absolutely buddy. You get the Zebra Finch and your sister can have a Ferret, that would be fair.
Kids: YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wife: We are not getting a Ferret!
Daughter: But Dad, do you want a Ferret?
ME: You bet I do but ...(make sure you pause for effect then look at wife) your mother doesn't want one. And if we can't have a Ferret then your brother can't have a Zebra Finch.
(Sadly look at both children).


And points go to me for not having to have a bloody bird in the house, though odds on we get a Zebra Finch and a Ferret. Ferret WILL eat the bird. Guaranteed.