Been in something of a hiatus of late. I like to call it a melt down. It’s probably some form of depression. Seems to be an annual event where I hit the wall after a year of teaching. It involves turning into a recluse, putting on weight, waking up every morning with a pang of guilt about something, although I’m never sure what, making promises to myself about getting to the gym and returning back to work after the break with a muscular bronzed body that people can’t help casting admiring glances at. It also involved watching five seasons of Sopranos back to back.
Needless to say I identified strongly with Tony. I got fat, depressed, irritable and thought it might be cool to… well… you know, strangle someone with length of electrical cable and get myself a Gomare.
Tony got me through though. Often echoing my own internal struggles with moral quandaries about things. Of course his involved the mounting burden on his conscience of all the murders that took place at his bidding. But SYMBOLICALLY the struggles are kind of similar. You know, the demands of suburban life on the 21 century man. It does gnaw at me a little that his is a downward spiral fueled by drug, food, alcohol and sex binges and fits of pique that result in someone's death. I am careful these days not to break any eggs though.
So now, I’m back at school and life is returning to normal. Normal…. I wish I could tell you what goes through my head though when someone disappoints me.
