Hirsute

Hey, if you're ever in Karratha ( if you are from somewhere other than Western Australia write in Karratha + Wikipedia - it will impress you that people live here) check out the television advertising. The actual Television is the usual commercial pap however I was corpulent with joy for the ABC on Saturday morning when in my feverish stupor I got to watch Rave - it makes so much more sense when you have a fever. Anyway the advertising is read by people humming like Buddhist Monks. Hooley Dooley it actually grabs your attention and then it holds it with astonishment. Surely, surely there is someone who knows what inflection is.


Oh and the word Hirsute went my brain like a woodpecker. I thought it meant hairy which would be weird because who on EARTH would be so cruel as to make a word up that sounds like HAIR SUIT that actually means "Gee, he looks like he has a suit of hair on." Who is NOT going to get upset at that.

FOR EXAMPLE:

Vivian tried desperately to placate Susan as to why her husband could not join them in the spa. "Why, it's just that he's well, very hirsute."
Susan hesitated for a moment unsure as to whether Vivian had offered a compliment as to why her husband could not join them in the spa. "What.... what does hirsute mean Vivian?"
"Oh my Gawd," Susan drawled "it means hairy... it means he looks like he's wearing a hairy suit!"
"Then why not just say 'He is too hairy for our spa, Susan," Susan began to involuntarily shake, her hand to her mouth she barely uttered the words "oh my.... Vivian...why?" Hot, angry tears rolled down her checks.
Vivian merely stared back with feline ice. "It always gives me time to do this.." Leaping unexpectedly to the side Vivian suddenly threw an ice pick savagely into Susan with a sickening thud.

The mere force of the blow brought Susan breathlessly off her feet.

Vivian landed, high heeled, neatly on both feet with a tidy click. The wet ground squealed as she turned and began to walk away, glancing briefly over her shoulder she muttered. "There is no way, on this Earth, that I am unclogging the filter after your husband has been in there. He has a hairy suit and he is hairy... he is Hirsuit."

The yellow angry stare of Susan's husband met Vivian as she turned. He slowly, as if in a dream, rolled his eyes with a blink over to where his wife lay. As though lightning struck a blackened sky Nathan flashed his massive canines in a soul shattering scream. He was indeed hairy, even for an simian.

Hirsute: Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source hir·sute /ˈhɜrsut, hɜrˈsut/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[hur-soot, hur-soot] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation

–adjective

1.	hairy; shaggy.

2.	Botany, Zoology. covered with long, rather stiff hairs.

3.	of, pertaining to, or characteristic of hair.

---

[Origin: 1615–25; <>hirsūtus rough, shaggy, bristly; akin to horrid]

Heartless. Absolutely heartless.

I WANT A BADGER

"CCCCCCRRRRRAAAAAAPPPPPPPP," he exclaimed.

The left foot is cramping up something rotten as I sit on the floor writing this and my nose is running - I have the flu. I don't think the foot is symptomatic of the flu although I generally never suffer from cramps... so I'm putting it down to cramp. Or menstruation. (this is where men claim that the situation they have just regaled you with, no matter how patently untrue, is true - and cramp to validate their sincerity) Long story as to why it is really, really not great timing. Supposed to be going out bush with Marnus and Shoz and my family.... blahhhhhh really have been looking forward to it. I would have been in a gorge. Out in the Australian outback. So far out you need a GPS. Pan pipes play when you walk around and native animals eat from your hand. And now? Now I get to wallow in my own mucous and exhaustion - good news is I have Owen for company. Owen is their Labrador. Shoz and Marnus (NOT to henceforth be referred to as S&M) call him squish... he is actually squishy - except when he treads on your genitals - he is squisher and he's good for a laugh and knocking over children. Same thing really.

Cool things: BTW - you gotta read to the end of this one... priceless.

Giant 'corpse-eating' badgers terrorise Iraqi city

July 11, 2007

THE Iraqi port city of Basra, already prey to a nasty turf war between rival militia factions, has now been gripped by a scary rumour – giant badgers are stalking the streets by night, eating humans.

Mushtaq Abdul-Mahdi, director of Basra's veterinary hospital, has inspected the corpses of several badgers and tries to reassure Iraqis that the animals are not a new post-war arrival in the region.

“These animals appeared before the fall of the regime in 1986. They are known as Al-Ghirayri and locally as Al-Girta,” he told AFP. “Talk that this animal was brought by the British forces is incorrect and unscientific.”

Not everybody is convinced.

The honey badger, or ratel, is known as a brave predator capable of killing a cobra. It weighs up to 14kg.

Sattar Jabbar, a 50-year-old local farmer from Abu Sakhar north of Basra, believes the badger can tackle even large prey.

“I saw it three days ago at night attacking animals. It even ate a cow. It tore the cow up piece by piece. I tried to shoot it with my gun but it ran away into the orchards. I missed it,” he said.

Speaking of tearing up a cow....

And now a slight segue
Context: After constant provocation from Judah Babylon goes in and nails the place to the wall. This scripture details the final stroke where the officials of the invading king enter the city and begin to sort out the details of what will happen:

Quote from the Bible: Jeremiah 39

Now when Jerusalem was captured in the ninth year of Zedekiah king of Judah, in the tenth month, Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon and all his army came to Jerusalem and laid siege to it; 2 in the eleventh year of Zedekiah, in the fourth month, in the ninth day of the month, the city wall was breached. 3 Then all the officials of the king of Babylon came in and sat down at the Middle Gate: Nergal-sar-ezer, Samgar-nebu, Sar-sekim the Rab-saris, Nergal-sar-ezer the Rab-mag, and all the rest of the officials of the king of Babylon. 4 When Zedekiah the king of Judah and all the men of war saw them, they fled and went out of the city at night by way of the king's garden through the gate between the two walls; and he went out toward the Arabah. NASU

Of course none of this REALLY happened because it's the Bible and the Bible is a collection of stories that serve this or that Israeli King's agenda. There's no actual supporting evidence like extra biblical manuscripts and texts that actually identify obscure people independently of their existence in the Bible.

Actually Higgaion has already dealt with this in his usually freakin genius fashion - check this link. Higgaion's take on things

Old Testament figure named on 2600-year-old tablet

By Dalya Alberge in London

July 12, 2007 01:00am

Article from:

• Tablet dating from 595BC deciphered
• Names figure in court of Nebuchadnezzar
• Figure was 'witness to turning point' in history

The tablet names a Babylonian officer called Nebo-Sarsekim who, according to Jeremiah 39 was present in 587BC when Nebuchadnezzar "marched against Jerusalem with his whole army and laid siege to it".

The cuneiform inscription records how Nebo-Sarsekim lavished a gift of gold on the Temple of Esangila in the fabled city of Babylon, where, at least in folk tradition, Nebuchadnezzar is credited with building the Hanging Gardens, one of the Seven Wonders of the World.

So did you spot the link?

Yep... Nebuchadnezzar the King of Babylon was actually King of what is know known as Iraq and giant badgers are eating Iraqis.

And Um... this just to hand: what you see here is actual footage of a Badger on the rampage in Iraq.

Why the hell doesn't this guy use a chainsaw effect?

That horrible thinking feeling may just be boredom...

This is a pretty accurate depiction of me in the car park. Read on...

I have made something of an important discovery. There is nothing to do in Karratha. Evidence of this: they have one of the biggest Video Ezy stores I have seen - which is where I picked up Bubba Ho-Tep and GoodNight and Goodluck for a total of 10 bucks between the both of them. Then I found the complete season 4 of Curb Your Enthusiasm for 6 bucks. Worth traveling 1600 kms for I say. But that's about it people. It's a mining town with nada history -

Wikipedia please....

"Karratha is an important centre in the resource-rich WA's northwest. It is located approximately 1,535 kilometres (954 mi) north of Perth and 850 kilometres (528 mi) south of Broome on the North West Coastal Highway.

Its economic base includes local iron ore, salt mining, ammonia and export operations, together with the North West Shelf Natural Gas Project, Australia's largest natural resource development. All this makes it the biggest town in the northwest after Port Hedland with a population around 10,000. Karratha came into being in the late 1960s due to the tremendous growth of the iron ore industry and the need for a new regional centre caused by the lack of land in Dampier. Karratha also has the biggest shopping centre in the Pilbara, called Centro Karratha."

I'm quite sure with a different take on things I would find mystery and intrigue in this place. I did with Carnarvon when I lived there - largely because of it's history. But here we are catching up with family. So I'm treating it as an extended chill session.

Here's one of the other things we did today.

Here's something I found quite interesting. It's a bird

These are some of the interesting things I took away from the library this morning:

Neurobiologist Antonio Damasio - University of Southern Califronia in Los Angeles studied people with damage to only the emotional part of their brains and found they were crippled by indecision, unable to make even the most basic choices, such as what to eat. Damasio speculates that this may be because our brains store emotional memories of past choices, which we use to inform present decisions. p. 38 New Scientist 5 May 2007

Now I have been wondering what would happen to a person were they to undergo an extremely traumatic event in their infancy or childhood, given Damasio's research it would suggest that it would mean that in adulthood people may very well be affected by these past events. Medication helpfully covers the symptoms but is unable to resolve the cause - something that I suspect may be able to be healed and restored once you identified the event and bought restoration to the point of emotional 'damage'.

I also found the actual experiment that I sometimes refer to in class - in terms of research by Stanley Milgram into how so many were complicit in the activities of the Nazi in Germany during the Second World War. It set up a test where everyday people applied certain amounts of.... look it's too boring to write. Average Joe's committed heinous acts while under the direction of men in lab coats. Nothing new there really. Through this stuff round at parties while everyone gets stumbling drunk for no other reason than it's the done thing.

THEN I FOUND THE SHOWSTOPPER.
James Stirling: Admiral and Founding Governor of Western Australia - Pamela Statham-Drew
Wanted to get my hands on this for ages... this is an extract from the Western Australian Premier's Book Awards - 2003 Judges' Report Poo Bum Wee I AM QUOTING A LOT TODAY...

"This is a monumental work of academic scholarship. Pamela Statham-Drew has documented the life of James Stirling, founding governor of Western Australia, in comprehensive detail. In doing so, she has given us new insights into the character of her subject, as well as the origins of our State. James Stirling emerges from Statham-Drew's book as a man of vision and adventure, compassion and resolve, qualities that enabled him to withstand the vicissitudes of founding a colony in the most remote corner of the British Empire."

My observation:
Pam has astutely identified where the Beer company "Cages Road" makers of relatively average beer (obviously in my opinion) has obtained it's name. " Exploration of this area was now all but complete, so on 21 March at 1pm the Success weighed anchor and MADE SAIL INTO GAGE'S ROADS where they anchored for the night. ....Stirling had named after his future commander-in-Chief, Rear Admiral William Gage..."p.79.

YEAH?! How about that for stunning obscurity. Not that Pam actually wrote about any link about the beer company.

Now what the hell is Rogers named after.



Man, with time on my hands this Blog is TOTALLY ROCKING!!!!
I did an awesome handbreak in the car park of Video Ezy. There was an Aboriginal guy watching in his car... and yeah he was pretty impressed. DO NOT DO THIS ON VENTILON because you will look like a bigger loser than you could imagine and what's more once you gauge what a complete dick you look from people's reactions (country people what's more) you will not care.

Bubba Ho-Tep people. Let's hear it for the King. You will wet your pants if you haven't heard of this film before. Very, very cool once you look into who's in it.

By the way, I'm still coming down off of the Ventolin.
Here's a close up of the bird.

It's a 24 hour tuna...

The Road into Carnarvon

I have missed the Walkers. The Walkers are the folks that kept me sane and safe when life went pear shaped around the time I got ready to depart from Carnarvon all those years ago. Bruce, Sue, Judy and I would sit and talk for hours in his living room – it was probably the closest thing to Christian community I have ever encountered. In those days Bruce was the Shire Clerk, Sue (his wife) was a primary teacher, Judy was alive and I work as a Clerk in the local hospital. Upon returning to Perth I experienced bewildering loneliness after having experienced such close life together.

Some thirteen years later we’re sitting around on Bruce and Sue’s porch at their new place – a place reminiscent of a cross between iconic outback Australia and the Hanging Gardens of Babylon. This time though, I have a wife and two kids, but apart from that and massive life change the essentials are still the same. Close friendship. A pint of Guinness, two glasses of wine and into my third and I’m suitably giddy with joy. Felt like joy. Could have been inebriated a little bit, but it was still joy. There is certainly no doubt that it was joy when Bruce struck up the fire – a pit with an iron table placed over it and meat was thrown on from every creature known. And chilli – straight from the garden. Friggin’ ridiculously brilliant. And we sat, drank, ate and talked into the night.

In the midst of the process I was introduced to Michael. Michael is a local carpenter. What is interesting about Michael is that he epitomizes the essential Carnarvon quality. Lunacy. Michael had gone out for the third afternoon in a row with mates looking for Tuna. They tracked a school, cut the engine and then Michael climbed into a kayak, where he silently moved into place over the school. Apparently they had a three days of no luck concerning this cunning creature and this was a new approach. He then cast out his handheld rod and instantly struck gold. Cept, he’s fishing for Tuna. These things are fairly large to be pulling out of the water with a hand rod. On a Kayak. Out in the middle of the ocean. With help a significant distance away. Any way in a Hemmingway type of struggle with nature he got the Tuna onto the Kayak.

This is Michael. He caught a Tuna. He is quite, quite out of his mind.

By the way, don't watch this, it's horrible. Laughed myself silly. But it's horrible.

A Punch in the Face

I keep forgetting that should I ever lack a topic to write about all I need do is try to log in. I can't even be bothered describing the incident, suffice to say it ended with me waving my impotent fist at the uncaring sky.

The other source of amazement is my kid's conversation.
My daughter has some vicious flu thing and has been home the last few days. It is half past five and I am under instruction not to let the kids go to sleep. Upon writing this I have also recalled that my wife has also told me to ring her step-mother to ask to borrow the car on Thursday. Her entry to the room is imminent and I am thinking of setting one of the kids afire to create a diversion.

She enters the room coughing and I am led to actually provoked her by now telling her I have not made the call. She is blowing her nose. There is silence. I punched her in the face the other day. She did actually deserve it. It wasn't like those adverts where those simpering He-Men whisper and whimper. "Yeah, well I said I wanted dinner and so I hit her. She said she probably deserved it" Followed by the stamping in big red letters across the screen NO SHE DIDN'T. Of course there is no irony or subtlety in the commercial because it's aimed at people without the use of an opposable thumb. And by the way if you are screaming alll teeth and spit at what I'm writing, pulling frantically at your prehensile tale, relax.... I'm not advocating violence in any form. Let me finish my story. Later.

My daughter's conversation - she's lying on the couch eyes closed. My five year old is totally in her personal space declaring:
"Hey, she's asleep!"
Daughter: (eyes closed) "No, I'm just waiting... I'm resting my eyes."
Son (in astonishment and fear) Nah.... your eyes are closed so you're asleep."
"No I've just got my eyes closed."
"You're asleep, your eyes are closed.'
Daughter: "Have you been to Karatha before."
Me: "No, no I haven't."
Daughter: "Not you Dad... him."
Stupid me. Karatha, over 1600kms away, and she's asking the five year old has he been there. He doesn't answer, because she's asleep.
I don't answer because I'm offended. Should have asked me. A 5 year old can't go to Karatha.

Saturday morning I'm lying in bed. My wife tells me to get up. I make a wise crack. She makes a wise crack. I throw a pillow. She yells out "RRRRRIIIGHT!" Running at me. Running at me in an Amazonian warrior like fashion at my twig like body. I spin like a naked ninja ( I have known these things to end poorly even fully dressed - each knee contains a testicle magnet: rarely fails to find them. You could drop a man or woman thousands of metres onto an individual lying on the ground. Even if they are miles out of alignment the knee will still manage to connect. Got to tell you my "My friend Will, story") so i spin she lands and again like a Ninja I reach around to pin her with my left arm. Cept for some reason as I swing my arm around at full speed my knuckles connect with teeth. (for in case you conceive that I have have just launched around and punched her right in the mouth I have not... now keep pulling your stupid monkey tail) Not great. Then as I show concern (I've seen this done in movies) I reach to console her but I'm met with "Don't touch me."
Man... just when we started to connect I connect.

Well... I will have to save my story about my Year Eights being sentenced to dath for not having a clue who Bono is. Not because of who he is so much, as they let me waffle about his contribution to humanity for about five minutes before they asked the question, "Who's Bono". Ok.... Bono is the lead singer of U2 and he helps poor people. "Who's U2". "You're surely taking the mickey," I mutter more to myself. They, sadly, were not. They must be taken out of the gene pool.