Sex Workers and Reticulation Can't Be Friends

AS YOU CAN SEE THE GARDEN OUT THE FRONT IS WAY TOO BIG

I am working on an entry that is driving me to distraction - it just aint gonna get finished and meanwhile there are no new entries and the Rogue Traders (who can collectively fall in a well at this point) are the image anyone who hits the site first sees. UNACCEPTABLE. And now I'm stir crazy. It's the children who are suffering as I write this. Zac keeps asking how to draw Jabba the Hutt. "It's a blob"
"Can you draw it?"
"No. Draw a blob..."
There is drawing.
"How do I draw the Gamorean guard?" (and NO-ONE correct the spelling on that)
"I.... DON'T KNOW."
My daughter comes in. The bath is full of water because I rushed out last night without letting it out after their bath. She wants to play with the water and so asks me.
"No, you could drown."
"Huh?"
"You could drown."
She thinks about this and it occurs to her that this is ridiculous.
"How could I drown?"
"I'll explain later - but just stay out of there.... you could drown..."
She leaves. Whispers in her brother's ear and off they go. To play with the bath water I suppose.

I shouldn't be writing this. I should be out teh front of the house fixing the reticulation. I put a hoe through the pipes yesterday. Ripping out shrubs that proved to be ill suited to the front of out house I am now fulfilling the most most pathetic of all man's fated existence, fixing the garden where I never wanted one in the first instance. It's like Outcome statements. Never NEVER should have gone that way - EVERYONE - said we should not go that way except the little beurocrat that thought they could. HOLY COW. And now - now they're ripping them all out. Shutting it down. And the place we are in is worse than before. Now English staff are being told to mark "going off your gut feelings". That my friends has actually been advised. I despair. History repeats itself because it's full of bossy lying idiots. It's the mitigating factor in all of these stuff ups. We had the reticulation guy advise us to put native plants in. Save water. Cept he rigged up the reticulation to water the garden and the lawn simultaneously. No water saved. Native plants over watered. Native plants overgrown and unmanageable. Have to take them out. Managed to take out not just reticulation, but the connection to the neighbor's property. Managed to drive the hoe right through the t-junction of the whole thing.
Sat down for a moment after I did it and thought... of course.

Me, and suburbia can't be friends.

CAN'T BE FRIENDS.

I've said yes to doing a gig at the end of the week. Crap. WHY? WHY did I say yes?
Not just that - it's to a Christian group. I must write about why on all occasions that has never worked. You can't enjoy comedy if you are sitting there wondering "Should he say that? Should I laugh. It's funny sure.... but if I laugh... I'm just not sure. I won't laugh. None of the others are laughing. Why am I the only one wanting to laugh. What's wrong with me.... what's wrong with me?" She/he stares into the floor. The comedy dies. Horribly.

Well, I'd better get that hooker back out of the pipes.

People don't kill pipes. People with hookers kill pipes.

I'm loving this sketch. Sent to me by Linc.